Not to bring you down or anything, but I have been having some trouble just getting through these holiday-type days here. For instance, in the middle of making dinner a few nights now I have put my head down on the counter and suddenly started crying because my dear aunt is permanently missing and I have not accidentally forgotten yet. It could have been that I locked myself out of my car today at 7:15am and had to go to class with not a thing in my hands, and then the rest of the day kind of followed that general trend of not-so-greatness, but really, I think it’s about Aunt Gretchen. Instead, tonight the family pitched in and took over so I could cry more comfortably in the living room next to the blankets and pillows and snuggly pets and junk tv. I was brought toast and cookies, unable to manage any joy for the chicken soup I’d made for myself, and I wallowed there a while trying to count my blessings since there are many.
On November 22 I posted My dear friend the mirror remarking about my great confusion as a child about crying. Well, with all the practice I am getting right now at tolerating and accepting and allowing the sadness, it seems I might post another related story. To read this story click on the heading at the top of the page entitled, “You’ll Get Over It, Jane Ellen” and scroll to the first entry, “Not On Fire”.
My goal in posting these stories is to inspire, so if you read it, let me know what your reaction is.