This is when I usually forgive myself for all the goofy things I’ve done all year.
Besides this, I am itching to formalize, with myself, the goals I have been thinking about for the upcoming year. Last year I decided, not very formally I’ll say, that I’d like to try to begin speaking to the parents of preschool children once again. I’d started in 2009, then stopped for all of 2010 after talking myself out of it, and then wanted to give it a go again. There is no doubt I love talking to parents of little kids, and I do it because it feels exactly like what I should be doing. I talk about the opportunity parents have to build meaningful relationships with their children, and to get on the floor and play for the sake of it. And I always get encouraging feedback from the people who hear me speak, and I feel both while I am talking and afterward, that it is a thrilling and important thing I do. Sometimes woman get emotional when they listen to me and cry during my talk or when they approach me afterward, and sometimes they have epiphanies that lead them to send me emails of thanks a few days later. But even with all that I get lost occasionally and cannot see the value in it, and then convince myself that it is not a worthy endeavor. So the big success of this year is that I didn’t do that. Yeah! I started speaking to women’s groups again, many times actually, and I did not decide it was worthless. So now I congratulate myself for that great accomplishment. I try to set goals that are actually achievable so I get to have this moment I am enjoying right now, the one where I tell myself I am doing the right thing, and that I have accomplished something worthwhile.
So in terms of setting a new goal for the upcoming year, I have ideas about continuing my speaking and trying to figure out how to best use the mentors who want to help me. I actually have multiple people who believe in me and this project of mine, who meet with me to talk about it even, and I would be smart to figure out how to best take advantage of that incredible good fortune.
As far as goofy things I must forgive myself for, a lack of confidence tops the list, but then again it does every year! I forgive myself for this shortcoming as after all, I am only human, and anyway I think I am getting better at that.