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being yourself, express feelings, games, inspire, joy, parents, relationship, words
Okay, giving in to tantrums is like negotiating with terrorists. You don’t do it.
By saying ‘no’ to candy at the grocery store to your toddler, and then after much cajoling and begging and whining and pleading and crying and distress you say ‘okay’, you have just taught your child that nagging and throwing a tantrum are well worth the effort because it can all pay off in CANDY!
If you figure out how to make your decisions and stick to them when your children are little it is easier to have established ways of reacting when they are teenagers and want the car keys on a snowy night.
Set whatever limits seem reasonable, but stick to them. Your first inclination was probably a good one and need not be revisited. Save time and make your decisions only once.
NO NEGOTIATING WITH TERRORISTS!
My Own Personal Sky 
The only thing I have to add to this deceptively simple posting of yours, Jane (I say ‘deceptively simple’ because although it is true, true, true, most of us tend to over-complicate these matters), is that it is never too late. It’s just generally more difficult if the boundaries are set later in life, but the same principles apply. I’ve known couples, for example, who have been together 40 years, wherein one of the partners learns to say ‘no’. It can feel good or it can feel badly when first the changes are made, but the keys are persistence and consistency. I personally think that’s one of the coolest things about being alive, namely, that we can always change what we do.
Amen!
Jane