Tags

, ,

Looks to me like ruining a child’s trust lasts a lifetime. It you teach your child that your needs are consistently more important than hers, and consistently prove that what is good for her gives way to what is good for you, you can ruin that child’s ability to trust the world at large.

If you do this completely enough you can produce a child who doesn’t trust much of anything. Like anyone in authority. Such as doctors. Or the legal system. Or that it even matters if you pay your bills. Or get arrested. Because in the end no one is really ever telling the truth anyway, and why not just do what you want and hope to get away with it.

You can produce kids who grow up unable to trust whole categories of people such as those he engages in business with. Then he ends up searching for every possibility that the other guy is out to get him. You teach a paranoia. You teach a maddening desire to check constantly that the other guy is doing his job and isn’t trying to hurt you, or trick you, or get something he shouldn’t out of you.

People that cannot trust others are hard to work with. And terribly afraid of everyone, and at a level they don’t even realize. It all seems pretty natural and reasonable to them.

People like this should have had someone love them better so they could trust that there are nice people out there in the world, and by extension, that most people are trustworthy, rather than likely to eventually hurt them in one way or another.

Make sure your kids can trust you to take good care of them and put their needs ahead of yours. Not their desires, their NEEDS, like feeling loved, and feeling safe, and being cared for….

Teaching trust is important.

Advertisements