, , , , , ,

One of the times I sometimes thought my parents might like me was when I was sick. It was confusing however because being sick was frowned upon and not something one should allow. But if I had one of the many migraine headaches I had as a child, my mother would sometimes sit with me and stroke my head gently. Of all the times we spent together this unspoken action was among the most powerful. Such actions speak loudly and we learn to trust those experiences. I considered during these times that my mother liked me and accepted me even though I knew I was being the kind of child she did not appreciate.

It was drummed into my head that being ill was a problem for my parents, so today it is hard for me to be sick, or need attention when I am feeling bad. But when someone extends themselves in kindness I feel loved. Maybe this is because the most powerful person in my life, my mother, showed me her kindness when just about all else failed her in finding a way to express her love for me.