You know, I feel good about stepping out of the box a little, but today in the same breath I actually admitted to insane insecurity, worrying about what others were saying about me behind my back, and then announcing my absolute lack of concern about doing things my own way.
Somehow in all the isolation of my childhood and all the time I spent under my own personal sky I got to knowing myself pretty well, and being able to hear my own voice pretty well, not ever realizing what others might be thinking. What I know about myself right now is that I love teaching kids to write. I love the whole notion of helping anybody see anything in a new light. And I do it in my own way. Today I told the teacher that I work with that when the schedule opens up next year and I have only half as much work to do, that I’d like to work with other teachers as well, and maybe do some things most theme readers like myself don’t usually do. She is all for it and had some ideas of her own. It’s both thrilling and scary to move into a new realm. And oh so worth the risk…even if it turns out differently than I hope.
I’ve heard that people often say on their deathbeds that they wish they’d taken more risks. So I try to keep that in mind when I stick my neck out a little.
Insane insecurity is paired with stepping out a little and I don’t really mind…