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Maybe it looks so easy you might think it just happens automatically. And maybe it does, normally. But the happy relationships between siblings totally alluded our family. My parents were so handicapped as parents that they actually nurtured a distrust amongst us, and then naively saddled us with each other as legal and business partners with shared inherited properties that we cannot possibly manage together today. It probably all seemed so simple and logical to them at the time, but to me, today, I see some of their mistakes.

It was quite commonplace, for instance, to hear my parents complain about one of their children to the others, as in, “Your sister is so stingy,” with nary (isn’t that a great word?) a thought to the contrary, at least that was shared in an effort to balance things, or that showed understanding of the process of maturation. To my way of thinking the said stinginess was a typical childlike way to be that required some teaching by the parents to help her grow to adulthood with some compassionate behaviors. It seems to me that because their children were not fully developed as adults upon birth, my parents were quite disappointed and blamed us all for our shortcomings, and let others know it.

Let me tell you, this is a mistake.

Much better to accept your kids for what they are, immature, teachable, as yet undeveloped adults eager to grow and learn and become who they are, with your kind and loving help.

If you do not know how to be a decent parent, go to the professionals and get help. It might sound difficult, but overall, the life you lead yourself and your children into will be so much more fun.

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