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So here’s the thing: if you love your spouse you do not tell other people, even in jest, how awful they are or how miserable they make you or what lazy SOBs they are. If you love your spouse you save that kind of idea to discuss directly with him in a constructive kind of way. And then when that doesn’t yield the desired results of turning your spouse into the person you were dreaming of it is time to consider the possibility that you yourself may need to change you. I am not saying there are no creepy spouses out there, but giving you the benefit of the doubt, you probably married a great person.

If you change you you might find you have an inordinate amount of power in getting what you want. There are limits of course, but expecting your spouse to magically be who you thought they were going to be isn’t realistic or rational or fair. Your spouse is who he is because in part he’s just spent years hanging around you!

So next time you hear yourself saying out loud that your better half is a creep consider turning YOURSELF into the fantastically thoughtful, loving, generous, you name it, spouse you yourself would like, as a model for the other guy, and then just sit back and see what wonderful things happen.

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