Running away from my past

Tags

being yourself, change, control, dreams coming true, express feelings, fear, goals, higher power, inspire, joy, Quaker Meeting, security, sit in silence, trust

I reached adulthood pretty confused and sad and emotionally unprepared to be there. All of this leads me to feel it would be nice if we offered clarity to our children as they grow, and not uncertainty and fears. This is what drives me to go out and speak to the mothers and fathers of children, to alert them to the powerful role they play in their children’s lives. In case they didn’t realize. Because not everyone does.

A few weeks ago I sat at the Quaker Meeting on the back bench. I went there knowing I had a lot on my mind, and when you sit in silence you frequently run into yourself with nowhere to go. That’s what happened. I couldn’t stop the ideas in my head that had me running, dashing really, away from my family of origin and all the ideas that have held me back in life. Even though it is scary I saw myself, finally, accepting the outstretched hands of people who want to help me, and who are happy to have me be me. It’s not easy to do this. It’s taken forever for me to think I can turn my back on people and ideas that aren’t good for me, because forever that is where I have placed my trust, and trust in the future as I see it.

It was a long silence for me and I couldn’t wait to get out of there.