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My Own Personal Sky

~ what I'm learning while growing up

My Own Personal Sky

Tag Archives: absolution

Guilty conscience

01 Sunday Jul 2012

Posted by paffenbutler in Being Yourself, Parents

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Tags

absolution, being yourself, Christmas cookies, crimes, forgiveness, joy, mother, mother-in-law, relationship

Maybe I should have told on myself at the time. Okay, besides the marshmallow debacle, one of my worst crimes against my mother-in-law still nags at me as she lay in hospital hanging on to life right now, and I actually consider finally owning up and apologizing.

It was Christmas and Mama served a tray of homemade cookies to my husband, my kids and myself. Afterward she had me put away the leftovers in tins she kept in her back bedroom. In an apartment you do that kind of thing, use the back bedroom as a pantry at Christmas. Unknown to her, this was a treasure trove discovery for me and I could not sleep at night knowing cookies were across the hall. I went to the cookie jar so often after that that I nearly cleaned her out. When she and I glanced in together to make a new tray a few days later, it was shocking how few cookies were left in the cans. Shocking even to me.

She never really confronted me on it but there were veiled comments that fed my guilty conscience for years. Kind of wish she’d asked or accused me at the time, because I didn’t have sense enough to just fess up and seek absolution right away. No, the secret festered and now I wonder if it isn’t a little too late to apologize.

Dang sugar addiction.

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