Almost like normal

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Christmas, friends, Jane Butler, Jane Paffenbarger Butler, joy, mental health

This almost felt normal! The lively annual wreathing party was scaled down to just three of us and outside, despite the cold!

Usually there is a luncheon, lots of women, scones and pie and tea to go around. And we make a mess inside the house on the farmtable in the kitchen.

This time it was all outside, on the porch, but no less wonderful for carrying on the tradition, making a beautiful holiday decoration, and spending time with friends. In person.

The pandemic continues to show us that it is not what you have but who you have, that matters.

Japanese fans

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Jane Butler, Jane Paffenbarger Butler, joy, mental health, parents

In anticipation of a cold winter, we cleaned out the attic to make room for a long overdue upgrade to our insulation. Over the years I’d thrown a lot of stuff up there including kid’s toys and clothes, interesting looking housewares and furniture from my various deceased relatives troves, and sentimental junk I couldn’t figure out what to do with. Now, I am discovering such interesting objects as these Japanese fans including one that came wrapped in a sheath complete with a ribbon strap. These were probably either purchases or gifts to my grandmother during her many trips to Japan. There’s a lovely Japanese tea set, a silk kimono, and ornamental Geisha fans I’m hanging on to also.

There was a lot up there in the attic we didn’t want, but hidden among the cobwebs I found these delights.

Is my mental health invisible?

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being yourself, dreams coming true, express feelings, goals, inspire, joy, mental health, mental illness, parents, passion, presentations

This week I visited with a group of mothers of preschool children who welcomed me as I delivered my presentation entitled, “Seizing the Moment: Making the Most of Your Toughest Parenting Challenges”. I was struck by how many of these moms are professionals who are choosing to stay home with the kids, and many of them have degrees or experience in social work, psychology and mental health. This is a perfect combination if you ask me.

I used to believe, erroneously, that mental health was the absence of overt mental illness. You know, that if you did not suffer from some obvious and embarrassing mental deficiency then you were by default mentally healthy. I have since learned that mental health is not so simple. Mental health is a bit invisible, as I thought, but it is the presence of healthy attitudes and healthy understandings of the world around us and of ourselves, and not just the absence of trouble.

The goal for me as a parent is to help my children be who they are, love who they are, and then go out into the world and share their interests and abilities with joy and passion, hopefully thereby improving the world. And that’s what I hope to accomplish through my talks as well: to share my own passions and abilities out in the world, in an effort to inspire you to think carefully and deliberately about your role as a parent. These efforts, in theory, are some of the ways in which I am trying to foster mentally healthy individuals: me, you, and our kids.

Take a look at my Thank You Notes tab above to see what this group and others have said about my talks.