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My Own Personal Sky

~ what I'm learning while growing up

My Own Personal Sky

Tag Archives: pup

God was friendly today as usual

16 Saturday Feb 2013

Posted by paffenbutler in Being Yourself, The Quaker Meeting

≈ 6 Comments

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being yourself, change, control, dog, dreams coming true, express feelings, fear, friends, friendship, goals, God, higher power, inspire, Jane Butler, Jane Paffenbarger Butler, joy, listening, love, pup, security, teacher, trust, words

I grew up isolated and in the woods so I am always looking to nature for signs of communication. You know, a breeze or a thunderbolt or a special crash of a wave in answer to my question, whether posed aloud or in my heart. And so today is no different, as I have found my whole life, it is good to discuss my problems with the earth. I do not know why, but no one else as far as I can see up and down the beach, wanted to walk along the sand at seven in the morning in February except my pup, who heartily agreed when I asked her. So there I was again, under my own personal sky. I looked out to God and said, “I have stood on these shores countless times in my life, and I have looked out at your grandeur and your beauty over and over. You are always here no matter how many years go by. No matter how many times I look to you to show me the way, no matter how many times I look to you to hear me and see me and know me, and no matter what, you are still out there being solid and present and beautiful. Nothing much seems to change with you, gorgeous sunrise above the earth, but boy, my world sure has changed.”

That’s when I saw the sun, shrouded by gray stormy clouds, peaking out a bit in answer. Oh, yes, I thought to myself, that is how it is, my earth always responds. I can always trust that. Well what about all the troubles I feel, the pains about getting out of my isolation, and trusting that the world can take the frightened person that hides in me? How perfect is it that I feel ready to share myself more, at last, and not let fears rule my life? How perfect is it that you have been standing ready for me to say these words, because you have been sharing yourself and your perfect glory for eons already, so you know what it is. I walked along some more feeding treats to my pup every time she came back from a dig at a crab hole to let me know she is still my friend for life. The clouds shifted and a few tears flew into the wind. I stopped, and as is common for me, I addressed the world directly, after all I could not feel safer than when entirely completely all alone, and I said thank you. Thank you for still being out there for me even though so many people and ideas and hopes and dreams have come and gone. I know I can do this. I know I can carry on and be myself out in the world despite the confusion I feel.

That’s when the sun glided bright suddenly forcing clouds aside to say directly to me in a broad and winning smile, “Yes.”

And that’s when I laughed out loud, because I am sure that one footstep washed away by the sand at a time, I am getting to precisely where I have always been going.

My lack of common sense has rubbed off on my dog

15 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by paffenbutler in Marriage

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Tags

hound, marriage, pup, salt water taffy

My pup ate half a box of salt water taffy, wrappers and all, tonight. She waddled around being large and ill, unable to get comfortable since her tummy was distended. My husband and I are pros at getting her to throw up since she regularly ingests things like bars of soap, lemon-scented steel wool pads, chocolate bars, and anything else that’s laying around and smells good. She’s a hound so her nose is fantastic but as you can see she is handicapped in the common sense department.

We forced a couple of teaspoons of hydrogen peroxide down her throat and so then she obliged to show us just what she’d swallowed. She felt better and wanted her dinner after all. Now she’s tired and is sacked out on the couch next to my husband who is also sacked out on the couch.

Some days are like that. Just kind of hard.

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