Tags
being yourself, change, China, dreams coming true, express feelings, friendship, goals, illness, inspire, joy, mother, Mother's Day, relationship, sister, trust
The ‘international straw’ was explained to me by my nephew who is living in China. Instead of a can and a string there is a straw that goes under the ocean, he told me, thus aiding our phone calls. Today he literally sounded under water, so apparently a leak sprung, but sorry I was not. To get a call from my sister’s son, for Mother’s Day, underwater or not, considering his mother is gone and he’s thinking of me instead, is an honor I might not have had.
As sad as it is that Jackie is gone, many doors were opened by her illness and death. The last few years of her life I called her weekly, an unheard of idea for us, and laughed and made memories that wouldn’t otherwise have been made. She and I weren’t friends enough for that before, but I showed her and I showed myself that there are ways to make it work. And her sons wouldn’t be looking to me to fill a gap, probably, if she were still here. The relationships I am building with them are presents to me that feel golden given our colossal family dysfunction.
I smile to myself that I have figured out how to do this, how to make friends with them even as the relationships with my siblings hang on by barely a thread. It is hard to undo history, but building a new future I certainly plan to do.
My Own Personal Sky 
I smile, too, for you and your nephew. And that you were able to build something with your sister. Odd as it might sound, I think that’s one of the things that death should “be for”.